No really, I mean that... especially if his brother is involved. So there's this company, Coleman, that made these virtually "indestructable" canoes. What they mean by that is the hull. Yeah, no one ever figures on the frame breaking... twice. Shall I go on or just tell the story? Ok, the story then. I was not there, but I'll do my best...
Daniel (the hubby), Steven (Bro-in-law), and Randy (Dad-in-law) decide to canoe the Arkansas River the day after a two day storm. --1st Mistake-- Typically, you would want two people to a canoe. Steven's brother-in-law was going to join them, but had to cancel last minute. So they decided to all hop in one canoe together! --2nd Mistake, yeah we're already at mistake #2, so you get the idea-- Apparently most of the trip was just fun and games until they hit a rather rough patch. Randy takes a tree branch to the chest that throws him from the canoe. Daniel jumps out to keep the canoe from capsizing, and Steven (the smallest by a considerable amount) simply could not keep the 17 foot canoe going from the middle seat in the swift current. By the end, the canoe's keel and one thwart (both parts of the frame) had snapped and all three of the guys went for more than one nice swim down a not-so-calm river of 5 foot rapids. At one point, Daniel was pinned against a tree... by the canoe. Then it was Steven's turn as he was the only one who had a hand on their only way home and his other hand clung desparately to a tree. Everytime he managed to pull the canoe closer, his head went under. Not exactly conducive to survival. When they finally managed to get out of the river, 500 yards downstream from their vehicle, they found the only way back was to carry the canoe through 5 football fields worth of thorny bushes. With no shoes. In addition to the scrapes, bruises, severe sunburns and previously described property damage, there were also several items lost. They include:
A brand new cooler (with lunch, 4 beers, 1 Dt Dr. Pepper & 2 Dr. Peppers)
Two seat backs ........... So, have I mentioned yet that they borrowed the canoe!?!?!
Bladder control (to which the guys have not admitted, I'm just guessing on that one)
2 Shirts
2 stabilizers
2 oars
1 pair of sunglasses
1 pair of suspenders, no, really my father-in-law loves 'em
As my husband told this harrowing tale of bravery and cunning on the trecherous waters of the Arkansas to our children, they stared at him with awed looks of terror and pride. The oldest and most inquisitive asked for a recitation of every tiny detail and a description of the damages inflicted on the canoe he has taken oh-so-many rides in. The middle child and most dramatic/creative simply asked in a gasp, "You mean, you almost died!?!" (eh, he's in Kindergarten... everyone almost dies, all the time.) But the youngest, our only girl and the princess of the house held her hands over her mouth for a long moment. When she was finally able to speak, it was in hushed tones of agony "You lost your shoe?"
11 years ago
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